Divorce

Often times, the topic on which I feel prompted to write comes to me in the shower. Today was no different. I had already planned on following up yesterday's radio program by commenting on a note that I taken during the conversation.

Instead, I felt a very clear prompting to talk about divorce. I'll start by saying that I am happily married... for the second time. I was divorced nearly 20 years ago. To some, what I am about to say will smack of hypocrisy. I don't believe that is the case, but it is also not the point either.

The point is divorce destroys biblical community, relationships and families. There have been countless scriptural commentaries written on the subject. Here is one of the first I found with a brief summary below.

Divorce in the Christian Scriptures (New Testament):

Matthew 5:31-32: Adultery the only valid grounds for divorce:

Matthew 19:3-9: Adultery the only valid grounds for divorce: Jesus returns to the question of grounds for divorce and confirms his stance in Matthew 5. He says that God intended men and women to marry permanently; divorce is not in God's plan.

Mark 10:2-12: There are no valid grounds for divorce: Jesus here
implies that all marriages are permanent; divorce is not allowed for any reason.

Luke 16:18: Remarriage is not permitted: Jesus here condemns remarriage of both husband and wife.

1 Corinthians 7:10-17: Remarriage is permitted, in some circumstances: Paul apparently wrote this passage in response to some Christians who were married to other Christians and were considering separating from their spouses and leading
a celibate life.

So then, as Christians, what should we do? Now, I am not a counselor. I'm not a therapist. I'm just a guy trying my best to live the life that God has given me. In that life he has provided some guidance, in the form of the Bible. He has also placed other people on this planet to help me along the way. Part of my purpose in being here is to help others in their Christian journey.

I ask again, what shall we do? What if we simply "discouraged" divorce as our baseline position. Rather than find reasons to condone divorce or excuses for why "this" divorce is acceptable, why don't we realize that divorce is not in God's plan for ANYONE?

If that is the foundation upon which we stand, then what? If divorce is not an option, what is the solution to marital discord? Prayer? Petition? Submission? There are probably a couple of more that I could think of, but these are probably a good starting point.

Let's step back for a minute and frame the situation. Who exactly are we talking about. Am I referring to the person who is considering a divorce? Am I addressing the spouse who is facing an unwanted divorce? What about the friends and family? YES. I believe that all parties are faced with the same challenge AND the same solution to the problem. Prayer, Petition and Submission.

What then shall we do. Pray! Pray specifically for BOTH the husband and the wife, for we know that both are sinners. What ever the "reason" for the breakdown in the relationship, you can be certain that both bear some responsibility for it.

Petition God to intervene. We know that in Christ all things are possible. We know that God's plan is for perfect community and oneness. Oneness in our relationship with him. Oneness in our relationship with our spouse and oneness in our relationship with others.

Submit ourselves to the purpose of truth, hope, peace and Love. The Greatest of These Is Love. If we are the husband or wife, we need to submit ourselves to the power of Love, the love that we pledged UNCONDITIONALLY on the day that we were married. If we are a friend or family member we need to submit ourselves to the love we have for the affected couple and the the love we have for God, whose heart is broken with each broken marriage. Sometimes that means speaking the TRUTH in love. That means saying things that may be very difficult to say but must be said, if healing is to occur.

Now, I am not naive enough to think that I can "talk" anyone out of a divorce. But I am confident that God can mend any relationship. He wrote the book on Forgiveness. Isn't that really what divorce is all about, the inability to Forgive? God can, does and will show you how to forgive as well.

In closing, I want to apologize for what may be a somewhat dis-jointed monologue and certainly one that is longer than I normally post. I also want to acknowledge the underlying reason for this posting. Each morning, my knees hit the floor and I pray. I pray for a lot of things, among those, the needs of others. There are currently three couples that I am praying for. All three are in different stages of "the process" but I refuse to concede a single relationship to Satan. I believe that God CAN redeem each of those relationships. For those that don't believe it, ask my Mother. That is a posting for another time... until then blessing to All!